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L o n n i e S w o n g e r
| Your Northwest CHRISTIAN Comedian/Singer/Artist |
Faith Statement.......
You MUST be KIDDING!
You MUST be KIDDING!
ONLY a comedian would begin their Faith Statement with the four words you see
above. In a way, no other words capture how this all began.
I was a fairly successful radio announcer...program director...sports
director....morning drive guy....personality...whatever words you choose, I did them all.
I was proud that I was an unabashed Christian working in a very unchristian
business. Every show ended with me saying God Loves You! I enjoyed working in
radio, being a big fish in little ponds in Wyoming, Nebraska, Kansas, Texas and Idaho.
In the early eighties, I started to have health problems. I was a polio survivor, having
the disease as a small child. Now I was beginning to have problems with my legs, my
endurance, at times total exhaustion.
I was diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome. I will not go into depth here, as it is
something I HAVE, it is NOT me. (Plenty of info can be found on the Internet.)
It was a very depressing onset. I could no longer work full time, then not even part
time. I was active in tennis, racquetball, golf and softball (not great, but not awful
either!). I became a person who was very much a type A personality, chained to a
chair and, often, a bed. It created a long, deep depression. If it had not been for my
wonderful wife (married 38 years this fall) and my two great kids, I would have
probably given up totally. I knew there was a God. I just did not think that God knew
that I existed.
I gained a tremendous amount of weight, which helped to fuel the depression.
I was sitting at home a few months after 9/11. I was in one of those moods, where I
was determined to find a cloud in a clear blue sky. I was in pain, there was to be no
sun that day. I wouldn't allow it.
Some person on TV was droning on about the cost of gas (which is nothing
compared to now) and politicians were arguing and soldiers were dying. After an
afternoon of pictures of starving children, muggings, robberies and drive-by
shootings, I exploded at God.
"Why aren't you doing something? Innocent people dying, people are mad, they are
angry, people are going you know where in a handbasket, WHERE ARE YOU?
WHY? WHY AREN'T YOU DOING SOMETHING?
Then...slowly...clearly...Not like a lightning bolt, but more like a soft voice. I started
hearing God saying..."Why aren't YOU?"
Being the typical Christian, I tried every way I could to ignore Him. I did for a long
time.
Finally I accepted the pact that God made with me. (It NEVER works the other way
around.) IF I, Lonnie Swonger, will dedicate myself to using what little talent I have for
HIS KINGDOM, He, in turn, will give me the strength to serve HIM until He no longer
needs me to.
It was as if I said "You Must Be Kidding!" and God said..."No, You MUST".
So, I am "Kidding" my way down the highways of this world, sharing the Joys of
Jesus and the hope of the Great Commission. I am not a young kid. I wish I was, I am
having so much fun Serving Him. My timetable is short. I know that. My illness is not
terminal, but it is permanent and it is progressive. I do not care. God will give me the
strength to keep on keepin' on.
My favorite part of the Bible is Psalm 121. Rather than write it down here, I urge you
to find a Bible and read it. God Bless all.
To GOD be ALL the glory.
Blessings and Peace,
Lonnie Swonger
above. In a way, no other words capture how this all began.
I was a fairly successful radio announcer...program director...sports
director....morning drive guy....personality...whatever words you choose, I did them all.
I was proud that I was an unabashed Christian working in a very unchristian
business. Every show ended with me saying God Loves You! I enjoyed working in
radio, being a big fish in little ponds in Wyoming, Nebraska, Kansas, Texas and Idaho.
In the early eighties, I started to have health problems. I was a polio survivor, having
the disease as a small child. Now I was beginning to have problems with my legs, my
endurance, at times total exhaustion.
I was diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome. I will not go into depth here, as it is
something I HAVE, it is NOT me. (Plenty of info can be found on the Internet.)
It was a very depressing onset. I could no longer work full time, then not even part
time. I was active in tennis, racquetball, golf and softball (not great, but not awful
either!). I became a person who was very much a type A personality, chained to a
chair and, often, a bed. It created a long, deep depression. If it had not been for my
wonderful wife (married 38 years this fall) and my two great kids, I would have
probably given up totally. I knew there was a God. I just did not think that God knew
that I existed.
I gained a tremendous amount of weight, which helped to fuel the depression.
I was sitting at home a few months after 9/11. I was in one of those moods, where I
was determined to find a cloud in a clear blue sky. I was in pain, there was to be no
sun that day. I wouldn't allow it.
Some person on TV was droning on about the cost of gas (which is nothing
compared to now) and politicians were arguing and soldiers were dying. After an
afternoon of pictures of starving children, muggings, robberies and drive-by
shootings, I exploded at God.
"Why aren't you doing something? Innocent people dying, people are mad, they are
angry, people are going you know where in a handbasket, WHERE ARE YOU?
WHY? WHY AREN'T YOU DOING SOMETHING?
Then...slowly...clearly...Not like a lightning bolt, but more like a soft voice. I started
hearing God saying..."Why aren't YOU?"
Being the typical Christian, I tried every way I could to ignore Him. I did for a long
time.
Finally I accepted the pact that God made with me. (It NEVER works the other way
around.) IF I, Lonnie Swonger, will dedicate myself to using what little talent I have for
HIS KINGDOM, He, in turn, will give me the strength to serve HIM until He no longer
needs me to.
It was as if I said "You Must Be Kidding!" and God said..."No, You MUST".
So, I am "Kidding" my way down the highways of this world, sharing the Joys of
Jesus and the hope of the Great Commission. I am not a young kid. I wish I was, I am
having so much fun Serving Him. My timetable is short. I know that. My illness is not
terminal, but it is permanent and it is progressive. I do not care. God will give me the
strength to keep on keepin' on.
My favorite part of the Bible is Psalm 121. Rather than write it down here, I urge you
to find a Bible and read it. God Bless all.
To GOD be ALL the glory.
Blessings and Peace,
Lonnie Swonger
Pastors and Friends,
I know, via God, you are the Shepherd of your flock. It is an all-encompassing mission. You need to
be sure at all times that the people you allow to minister to your flock be sincere in their ministry
and remember their purpose.
I promise you that along with the humor will come a serious and very clear message:
That Jesus is the answer, in fact the ONLY answer in the world that we live in.
I promise to you that I will present the Gospel in a family friendly-no questionable content-funny
way. Along with the humor will come serious moments designed to reach the families and single
people that need to hear it. I am a Christian first, a family man second and then a Comedian.
In Jesus’ Love
Lonnie Swonger
To God be all the glory!
I know, via God, you are the Shepherd of your flock. It is an all-encompassing mission. You need to
be sure at all times that the people you allow to minister to your flock be sincere in their ministry
and remember their purpose.
I promise you that along with the humor will come a serious and very clear message:
That Jesus is the answer, in fact the ONLY answer in the world that we live in.
I promise to you that I will present the Gospel in a family friendly-no questionable content-funny
way. Along with the humor will come serious moments designed to reach the families and single
people that need to hear it. I am a Christian first, a family man second and then a Comedian.
In Jesus’ Love
Lonnie Swonger
To God be all the glory!
I PROMISE ANY CONCERT/SERVICE
AND/OR EVENT WILL FEATURE
-Clean Comedy - Music, both parody and
for Churches, serious in content.
ALWAYS Family-Church friendly
NEVER Political or Edgy.
AND/OR EVENT WILL FEATURE
-Clean Comedy - Music, both parody and
for Churches, serious in content.
ALWAYS Family-Church friendly
NEVER Political or Edgy.